Tag: travel

Olivia’s Gluten-Free Birthday

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One of my favorite things about living in New York City is not just the way in which various different types of restaurants can coexist here, but the way a restaurant needs a hook in order to stay alive. 

You can create whatever seemingly mismatched fusion restaurant, whatever astrology-themed bar, or animal-themed cafe you want, so long as the food and drink earns its keep. 

A generic restaurant is more likely to be put out of business than an eccentric one– basic restaurants need not apply.

This occurred to me a few weeks ago at Senza Gluten, the gluten-free Italian restaurant I went to for my cousin Olivia’s birthday. My knowledge of Italian came in clutch as I informed the table that “senza” means “without” in Italian, which is about all I can do with my limited knowledge of Italian: impress people by reading off the menu at an Italian restaurant and enhance the viewing experience of season 2 of The White Lotus. 

Our gluten-free meals were excellent, unlike most gluten-free which runs the risk of tasting like carpeting. We had our gluten-free meals, toasted the woman of the hour with all of the alcohol we’d just purchased, and then had some gluten-free bagels the next morning at a gluten-free bagel place. 

Only in New York City could so much lack of gluten thrive. 

For her birthday, I bought Olivia a “pussy astray/incense holder.” The women selling them in Union Square Park clapped them together to demonstrate that they were “indestructible, just like the real thing.” 

Olivia is one of the few people I know who would appreciate such a product. 

Olivia, appreciating such a gift

I’d spent the weekend eating gluten-free around town, on purpose, and witnessing a woman standing in Union Square park unironically clap together vagina-shaped drug paraphernalia, like they were chalkboard erasers, and yet, the thing that I was most struck by was all of the things that I could only get in New York City. 

Between the unique food and the unique gifts, New York City is the place to spend your birthday.

Happy late birthday, Olivia! 

The Tragic Queen,

Raquel

P.S.: Check out my previous blog post: Home Sweet Home

A Day At The Zoo

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At the end of the summer, Valentina and I went to the Bronx Zoo for a last hurrah.  

Hot take: zoos are not strictly for children, as animals are universal. 

And yet there were children everywhere. 

Valentina and I made our way through the crowds of strollers in scorching hot weather, feeling very superior to the toddler who kicked its shoes into the gazelle pen, and losing our minds over the beautiful elephants, same as any sane person would.

This led to many great discussions, such as “what animal would you want to be reincarnated as?” and “do you want kids?”

The Bronx Zoo claims that all of the animals they have in captivity are the result of being rescued from the wild and rehabilitated, which was justification enough for Valentina and me to enjoy ourselves. 

I pspspsped the giraffes and they did the same thing that my cat does when I do it to her: not come towards me. 

I kept my Harry Potter references to a minimum when in the reptile room, staring at the boa constrictors behind glass. 

I used the limited amount of animal knowledge that I could recall from childhood to keep the conversation going.

How many bones do giraffes have in their neck? 

7, the same as humans. They’re just longer.

Are zebras white with black stripes or black with white stripes? 

It depends on the zebra. You can shave them and have your answer.

What animal rules the animal kingdom?

My house cat thinks it’s her. 

Valentina and I spent the afternoon reclaiming zoos for adults. We did not see any Capybaras or Ocelots, the respective favorite animals of Valentina and myself. We missed the penguins, which were the main reason that we went, but we can always take another trip to the zoo in the coming year. 

We were able to see lions, elephants, giraffes, and every other majestic type of animal from the Animal Kingdom. I desperately want to go on a safari but due to my on-going fear that I will accidentally cause my own death one day, I’m thinking about maybe sitting that one out. 

My recommendation would be for everyone to go to the Bronx Zoo and experience it for themselves, so that you might stare at the penguins and succeed where Valentina and I failed.

The Tragic Queen,

Raquel