My Royal Portrait

I came back to the states within days of Christmas with nothing but Italian Christmas gifts and the need to wrap them, a bunch of dirty clothes, and a desire to faceplant into my childhood bed at my parents’ house. My packing style is if there’s a will there’s a way, which is why I sat on my suitcases to zip them up and was very friendly to the woman who weighed them at the airport. All of which went according to plan. 

Once stateside, I put Christmas behind me and got on with another annual tradition: my royal portrait. 

Every year I have a very sassy photo shoot around my parents’ house so that I might feature them on my holiday/New Year’s card and here on my blog. My high school friend Lauren comes over with her camera and we have a very fun and goofy afternoon of playing “Vogue” while listening to some music. This year, since I gave all of my money to the Italian economy, I could not afford to pay for Lauren’s services. I, instead, had an informal photo session with Padgett and her iPhone. My bougie photoshoot with a friend from high school was well underway. 

Per my usual, my royal portrait picture appeared on the front of the card and a picture taken from within the year appeared on the back where I wish people a Happy New Year. 

The picture that I chose as my main photo– my jewel in the crown if you will– was inspired by (queen) Sofia Vergara’s fabulous photoshoot for SNL.

The muse
The cheap imitation

I’d been told by my grandmother that I had “such a lovely smile” and that I should therefore use it on my holiday cards, instead of wishing people a “happy holiday” while pouting. I nearly missed the mark once again this year when I almost selected a picture of me blowing a kiss instead of smiling, but I pulled it together.

The kiss

My outfit consisted of a short black dress, black tights, and a black top hat. I like to keep things casual.

It’s not a royal portrait photoshoot until I take a black and white photo over my black and white tiles in either a black dress or a black and white dress. 

Here are the BTS shots of me moving around the supplies for the floor shots. I gotta set the stage.

No matter who is taking the pictures, I always end up with some funny ones; it would be no fun if I was completely serious the whole time. This is one of the many reasons why I think that people should do the same. Take pictures of yourself at the end of every year to chart your progress through life and have some fun while doing it. 

That settles it for this year’s royal portrait. It was another royal portrait for the books. It’ll be another few hundred days before I have a friend “getting me from my good side” again. 

The Tragic Queen,


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