Stefon voice: New York’s hottest club is Club Elsewhere. This place has everything: strobe lights, drunk girls who want to befriend me, bathrooms that are designed to look grungy, spilled drinks everywhere, and, for one night only, the rapper Cupcakke, sold out.
So, for the first time in a while, I had a fun filled night of concerts and nightclubs. First, since it was my cousin Olivia’s birthday the next day, I was invited to have dinner with my cousin, aunt, and uncle at an Italian restaurant in the city. Then, after a great time with them, I hailed a taxi and made my way to Brooklyn to attend a Cupcakke concert at Club Elsewhere. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the musical stylings of Cupcakke, let me just say that you clearly never went through the American public school system, where her song “Deep Throat” is referenced with regularity.
Bella, my beloved suitemate from last year and fellow RA, invited me to see her in concert with her boyfriend, Eli. They checked my vaccination card and ID at the door and then I spent the next few minutes weaving my way through a very dark, masked crowd trying to find my friends.
Club Elsewhere, I am told, is popular on Tik-Tok and it’s not hard to see why. With its wild lights that make it look like the world is ending and sound waves that bounce off every square inch of wall, I can’t picture a better place for a night out when you’re in your twenties.
Having never been out to a nightclub before, I threw on some deep blue eyeshadow and dangly earrings to impress.
The crowd looked ready to burst out of the room. The DJ kept the energy up all night until it was time for Cupcakke to come on stage. She entered wearing a giant coat that I’m amazed didn’t make her melt.
She cursed a blue-streak, was hilarious, knowingly went over time, and sang- or rapped- her heart out. Cupcakke wrapped up after about an hour of us being there and the club shut down as soon as she strutted off stage, some time after midnight. The three of us then proceeded to walk around Brooklyn in search of another good time. My philosophy for the night was that since I would be Ubering back to campus, I could do that at any time, so I might as well do that when we were absolutely done having fun.
We stumbled upon a weird open-air, outdoor nightclub. The idea was that you could drink with friends and play cornhole, since that always makes for an exciting Friday night. There was loud music, drink stalls set-up, and, unfortunately, port-a-potties. Eli and I, both coming from the south, thought that we could obliterate our opponents at cornhole, while Bella sat off to the side, staring at us like we were idiots. We gave it our best shot, hyping each other up, and throwing our bean bags with fervor.
Anyway, we ended up losing.
After our defeat at cornhole, we walked to the next place that we could hear from the street, which ended up being another packed nightclub. The music was great and people were dancing all around the room and all over each other. Also worth mentioning, I spent the entire night with my purse wrapped around my neck so that no one else could touch it and, no, it is not the type of bag that you can put across your body. I nearly strangled myself everytime I needed to get something out of it.
I made it back home with sore feet and blurry photos, wishing that, just once, my makeup would have lasted until the end of the night without globs of it ending up in the corners of my eyes. I also made it back with my wallet and phone, which qualifies as a successful trip out of the house, and I did not get lost once, which made it a successful trip to Brooklyn.
Bella and Eli, my two Brooklyn buddies, will be joining me in the future for more New York adventures. Club Elsewhere also hasn’t seen the last of me.
The Tragic Queen,