Fasttimes at Sarah Lawrence College

Since I live practically at east coast ground zero for the COVID hotspot, my school actually cares about whether or not we breathe each other’s air. The current policy is that I’m only allowed to interact with people in my “living pod,” so I only get to spend time with my suitemate, Bella, the only person I’m allowed to mouth-breathe on/near. Together, we watched “Malcolm & Marie” on Netflix, cramming our faces with white cheddar cheese popcorn, milk duds, and other movie theatre junk food. Then we watched “The Price of Everything,” my favorite documentary about the world of contemporary art, which also happens to be the only documentary I’ve ever seen about the world of contemporary art. Bella wants to be an art restorer, so I thought it’d be a good fit and as it turns out, I was correct.

We tried to play a Valentine’s Day themed card game that the school provided us, only to find that you need more than two players. So instead we played war, attempted a card castle on her bed, and played one of those get-to-know-you-question-games. I just got a legitimate deck of bicycle playing cards and we’ll be learning how to play gin rummy. Thursday night was “sit in the hallway and socially-distance paint” night. I painted a bunch of lemons as part of my attempt to be optimistic, because when life gives you lemons you should paint the lemons or some shit.

Thursday was also the day that the school blessed us by paying for a Greek food truck to give us free lunch and a special empanadas food truck to give us dessert empanadas stuffed with nutella, strawberries, and brownies. It was exactly as amazing as it sounds.

Then I made even more preacher cookies, this time showing Bella, and then made something called “copycat subway cookies,” that I undoubtedly made wrong.

I’ve since been able to zhuzh up my blank walls with posters representing my favorite things in the hopes of making this self-isolation a little better. Above my head, I have Jane Fonda’s mugshot, so that she can watch over me while I sleep. Some of you may recall having had a poster in your weird cinder block dorm room that said something like “Frankie Says Relax.” Instead I have Wednesday Addams, Fleabag, and President Bartlet.

Wednesday Addams, from “The Addams Family” is, per her usual, drinking some poison. I put her up on my wall because she reminds me of childhood-me (don’t read too much into that). Fleabag, from the show “Fleabag,” is another woman who reminds me of myself, seen here cheekily turning towards the camera as she says something no doubt crass. President Bartlet, from the TV show “The West Wing,” is in Obama-style coloring, like any good president. Finally, my large tapestry of a Portugese Vogue cover hanging over my bed should immediately tell anyone who enters that I love fashion and am probably cultured (wink, wink). I got all of my dorm room decor from a website called “RedBubble,” which allowed me to set up my shrine to sassy women in black and white and President Bartlet.

Most of them fell down shortly after I took these photos. Sigh.

I can’t wait until I can spend an afternoon watching a mediocre movie in theatres and ordering the wrong thing off a menu at a really great restaurant. I also miss the Slo parties, which take place at “slo 7” , a series of dorms on campus, where you have to venmo people for drinks and act like you’re having a better time than you are. In the coming weeks Bella and I will be watching “Jojo Rabbit,” a newfound favorite of mine and I’ll keep you updated on how the gin rummy is going.