I logged out of my first year of college the day before yesterday. The desk with which I have attended school for the past few days now lies vacant. The coronavirus is still sweeping the nation, something called “murder hornets” have just touched down in the US, along with a polar vortex, in May and I would like to know when the four horsemen of the apocolypse are slated to make their appearance. Seriously though, I think we can shut Pandora’s box already. We get the point.
My state has officially reopened and let me just say that I really could have used a new John Mulaney stand-up special and a new album track by Lizzo while in quarantine. Instead, I have been on a few disheartening zoom calls in which nothing is seen or heard properly, read a few heartwarming stories about people who have somehow managed to use this time effectively, and rolled my eyes at the all-important reminder that we are living in “uncertain times.” I spent the entirety of my last day finishing a ten page essay on homeboy William James’s perceptions of women and will now be rewatching “The West Wing” from start to finish up until I start my next semester. It’s my second day of summer vacation and I have already fully embraced being a parody of myself. I’ve been sleeping in, eating pizza and frozen yogurt, watching The West Wing, and occasionally helping my parents around the house.
My one claim to fame so far this summer is that I have helped paint some doors around my house, when I haven’t been shoving white cheddar cheese popcorn in my mouth. I also went with my mother to take the recycling to a local place and after having a photoshoot while doing it I got bored and made memes out of the pictures.
I might mess around and start the book “The Lord of the Flies” tomorrow, but it’s probably more likely that I’ll read “Dune” so that I can watch it in December and ogle at Timothee Chalamet.
These days, with raggedy eyebrows and split ends, I’m looking like a human disaster or as my grandmother would say “looking like ten cents worth of God help us.”
The Tragic Queen,